So after recently graduating, I’m finding that I’m having a hard time adjusting to, and getting back into what most people would call “normal life”.  I’m incredibly used to going HARD every day with extra-curriculars, various obligations, homework/ studying, and classes for what amounted to 60-70 hours a week with regular feedback, critical thinking/engagement, and validation.  Even during the summer there was always a reading list or something to research or some project to work on.  I’ve been told more than once after graduating that I have to ‘chill out’ or ‘calm down’ (usually this is implied with people telling me I have to be less productive, or not present as speech/debate has taught me), which is frustrating.  I’ve become addicted to being productive in some way, and I don’t know how to turn off that part of my brain.  Taking up programming has helped distract me, but it’s not a job, and doesn’t have the same rush or thrill of discussing deep philosophical issues, tensions, or themes with others. Reading current events, international relations, or politics is frustrating now, because no one wants to discuss it in depth, anytime I try to bring it up, it just gets brushed off as people just want to go about their day.  I’ve found a group or two where I’m able to discuss things more in depth, but meeting once a month or less is a far cry from the regular, everyday, interaction that I’m accustomed/acclimated to.  I’m used to high pressure/high drive sales jobs, or call centers with high attention to detail and extremely minute time management, complete with warm-ups, pump up sessions, people yelling at me from all sides and constantly expecting more/better.  These aspects of my life have come together to culminate in me constantly wanting to ‘go, go, go’, but with nothing to aim toward…The void that has been created since leaving school is just that, a void, a hole, that I don’t know how to fulfill.